I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
