First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize