My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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