i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize