I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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