I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
