So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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