i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize