found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
