Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
