my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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