I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
