listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I need moral support for this bender
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
