Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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