Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
