Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
