Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
