So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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