She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
