32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
