I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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