I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
