I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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