I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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