i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
