My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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