Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
