I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
