I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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