paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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