Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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