he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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