Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
