she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The power of my boobs compel you
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
