Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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