He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
