wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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