Sacagawea was the original milf.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
