Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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