i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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