That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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