At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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