i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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