Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize
