That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
