Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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