hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
