the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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