How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
