Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
