saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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