i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
last night I used snow as a chaser
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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