Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My butt remains clenched, sir.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
