so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
