It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
