yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i came on her dog
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Send help, water and tortillas.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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