I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
