you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
