My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
