I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
