Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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