obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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