i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize