I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
