Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
