you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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