No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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