Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
